Humor and Jokes

For Your Persuasive Speech

Here is a growing collection of Humor and Jokes that can be easily adjusted and adapted to your Speech using the QUICK GUIDE ...

Humor Your Speaking
Selecting and Using Appropriate Humor
For Your Speech

If you do not have the
Quick Guide to show you how to easily select and adapt Humor and Jokes for YOUR audience, then it is available from here.

Birthday Humor and Jokes

The next time someone asks you if there were any famous men born on your birthday, tell them ‘Nope, only babies!’ 

Using the Quick Guide, here is an example of one way to convert and adapt this humor for your speech ...

Liam asked earlier if there were any famous people born on his birthday. I told him "Nope, only babies"

< Replace Liam with the Birthday Boy or Girl >

More Humor ...

‘Doctor, I get heartburn whenever I eat a birthday cake.’ The doctor replies: ‘Next time, take off the candles!’ 

When he lit all the candles on his birthday cake, three people collapsed from the heat.

The only sure way to remember your wife's / husband's birthday is to forget it once.

One person says: ‘My birthday’s coming. Do you know what I need?’ The other one replies: ‘Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?’ 

One guy looks at his friend and says, ‘Do you think my age is showing in my skin?’ The other guy says, ‘I don’t know. I can’t see through your wrinkles.’ 

Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

There are advantages to being <add age>—just ask an eighty-year old!

How can you tell you’re getting old? When you go to an antique auction and people bid on you.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the herafter ... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

Fast paced world

Every time I think the world is moving too fast, I go and queue up in the Post Office (or substitute Walmart, Aldi, Woolworths ...)

Have you ever noticed that wrong numbers are never busy.
(I adapted this joke for a person who used a phone a lot)

Exercise - for the fit person

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realise you are not fit enough to do it, you've got a long walk home.

Bet You Have A FAVORITE Joke or Story You Tell!

If you are always wanting to tell someone your favourite Joke or THAT story, why not tell many people right here!

Share it here.

[ ? ]

Upload 1-4 Pictures or Graphics (optional)[ ? ]


Click here to upload more images (optional)

Author Information (optional)

To receive credit as the author, enter your information below.

(first or full name)

(e.g., City, State, Country)

Submit Your Contribution

  •  submission guidelines.

(You can preview and edit on the next page)

This article was printed from

Print Article