Here is a growing collection of Birthday Humor and Jokes that can be easily adjusted and adapted to your Birthday Speech using the QUICK GUIDE ...
Humor Your Speaking
This Quick Guide is available from here.
The next time someone asks you if there were any famous men born on your birthday, tell them ‘Nope, only babies!’
Using the Quick Guide, here is an example of one way to convert and adapt this humor for your speech ...
Liam asked earlier if there were any famous people born on his birthday. I told him "No, only babies"
< Replace Liam with the Birthday Boy or Girl >
‘Doctor, I get heartburn whenever I eat a birthday cake.’ The doctor replies: ‘Next time, take off the candles!’
When he lit all the candles on his birthday cake, three people collapsed from the heat.
The only sure way to remember your wife's / husband's birthday is to forget it once.
One person says: ‘My birthday’s coming. Do you know what I need?’ The other one replies: ‘Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?’
One guy looks at his friend and says, ‘Do you think my age is showing in my skin?’ The other guy says, ‘I don’t know. I can’t see through your wrinkles.’
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
There are advantages to being <add age>—just ask an eighty-year old!
How can you tell you’re getting old? When you go to an antique auction and people bid on you.
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the herafter ... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
Every time I think the world is moving too fast, I go and queue up in the Post Office (Walmart, Aldi, Woolworths ...)
Have you ever noticed that wrong numbers are never busy.
(I adapted this joke for a person who used a phone a lot)
The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realise you are not fit enough to do it, you've got a long walk home.
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